So for those of us who haven’t been living in caves for the past few months, it seems that Lady GaGa is the new “hot thing” (actually, I’m pretty sure even the Taliban know who she is). A simple Jersey girl who through some form of slut magic transformed herself, Lady GaGa takes pride in creating edgy ear cocaine in a market super-saturated by slutty, former Disney kid stars. I have to admit, Lady GaGa’s tranny hotness confuses me as a male, but that’s part of her unique charm. I’m sick of nonstop hotties! What I need is a lady who constantly makes me ask pertinent questions such as:
1. What the fuck is going on?
2. Can pop art truly be used as a medium to reflect the ills of society?
3. Would I hit that? Damn she looks like a tranny…But that big ol’ butt…Perhaps…Maybe…Aw Hell, who am I kidding!
Anyway, with that said the new music video for Lady GaGa’s song “Paparazzi” has been released, and let me tell you, it’s a 7:45 minute long masterpiece (I use this word often, I think it makes what I say sound more significant than it really is). The first thing a keen watcher will notice is that Swedish must be all the rage in Hollywood! You may be asking yourself, “How is he so worldly to know that they are speaking Swedish in the beginning of the video?” Well, it seems having two cousins who live in Sweden has finally paid off! Also another interesting note is that the actor playing opposite of Lady GaGa is none other than Alexander Skarsgård, who plays Eric Northman in the popular HBO series True Blood.
Silly Alexander, he attempts to use Lady GaGa in the beginning of the video for his own selfish gains and even goes as far as to throw that bitch off of a balcony (cold blooded, I know). But fear not, for Lady GaGa is a trooper. What follows is a mirage of random events/images which include:
1. Random tongue movements by Lady GaGa (provocative, I know)
2. Lady GaGa dressed as a robot hooker dancing while on crutches (I’m going to need therapy)
3. Random images of dead models (examples include but are not limited to: death by asphyxiation, hanging, pill overdose)
4. A little dance number, which in my mind evokes both Thriller and the use of “jazz hands”
All of this random nonsense culminates with Lady GaGa dressed as what I can only describe as a goth-hybrid between Minnie Mouse and Betty Boop poisoning Alexander to extract revenge for when he flung her ass off of the balcony. Kudos Lady GaGa, kudos. For through her video she clearly makes evident that what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
So what does all this mean? Fuck if I know. What I do know however is that while throwing a bunch of random/edgy/sexually provocative images together in a video doesn’t make you a genius, we live in a society where it passes for something more. So is Lady GaGa a direct backlash to all those goddamn teeny boppers? If so, I applaud her presence! Keep rockin’ that tranny thing you do oh so well!
Check the leaked video out for yourself: http://perezhilton.com/2009-05-28-epic-gagas-new-paparazzi-video
