It’s the “Punch Hear Around the World”, ok not really, but as many of you who watch the glorious MTV reality show “Jersey Shore” already know, in the most recent episode poor Snooki takes what can only be described as a Tyson-esque knockout punch straight to her guidette face. “Oh my”, you might say, “Are you telling me that on the Jersey Shore people get punched? How could this occur? What’s happening to America’s social fiber?”
Ok, putting jest aside, the incident does raise some interesting points. Foremost, MTV has been getting a bunch of shit for the show because critics claim it portrays Italian-Americans in a negative light. Hmmm…..Perhaps a legit point, but let’s think about this:
1. The cast, which is filled with self-described guidos and guidettes ARE JUST THAT, GUIDOS AND GUIDETTES!!! They represent a small, yet highly entertaining demographic of the American, and Italian-American population. As a Middle Easterner, and more specifically an Iranian, I wouldn’t be offended if they made a reality show entitled “Tehrangeles”, depicting all the fine Iranian-American, no wait, excuse me, “Persian” trash that fills L.A. Are they an embarrassment to Iranians? Sure, but overall they are just an embarrassment to humankind. But more importantly, THEY ARE ENTERTAINING AS HELL!!!
2. Snooki, real name Nicole Polizzi (not that anyone cares), is the guidette that is just too stupid for you to really hate. Does she deserve to have the shit knocked out of her, of course not. And believe me, I do not condone violence against women, but would anyone think twice if a guido got punched in the face??? I think not. To play devil’s advocate, is there a double standard when it comes to violence? It’s ok to show violence between individuals of the same sex, and Hell, it’s even entertaining to watch a girl beat up a guy, but as a society we have chosen to draw the line when it’s a guy punching a girl. Think about it, Elin Nordegren beat the shit out of Tiger Woods with a goddamn golf club (the irony is beautiful) and everyone seems ok with it.
3. The sack of douche who punched Snooki, Brad Ferro, claims he doesn’t remember the incident. Oh, really? You’re telling me you may have been too intoxicated to remember punching a girl? Surprise, surprise, it’s the goddamn Jersey Shore for Christ’s sake.
Due to complaints, MTV decided the pull the clip of Snooki getting punched when they aired the episode. If anything, I watch the Jersey Shore to see real, unadulterated, guido and guidette action. For me, I want to see the punch because it reaffirms the fact that some guys are just big piles of douche. Airing the actual punch would show the world what an asshole this Brad Ferro guy really is.
So in conclusion, my tiny, dead, little heart goes out to Snooki and all the females like her. Are they annoying, vapid, and overall big wastes of space? OF COURSE! But this is America goddamn it!!! A nation built on the principle that all people are welcome, no matter how stupid they are (I think the forefathers also mentioned things like religion, race, and whatnot, but shit, it’s been a long time since I took a government class). Therefore, punching Snooki is actually un-American!!! That’s right, I said it. Now if you’ll excuse me, this patriotism has reminded me that I need to go buy ammunition for my assault rifle from Wal-Mart (with prices soo low, who can resist!)…U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
